Thanks to some bad weather and a school cancellation, I actually have some time to look at my blog again...how was my last post in November? Is that even possible??? I really need to find a regular time to do this...
It's time to get real about one of the less polite realities of life: the inconvenience of having to go to the bathroom. Especially when at a movie. For some reason, my bladder has the uncanny ability to know when I'm at a movie and decides that's a problem. Every. Single. Time. I can drink nothing for hours beforehand. I will still need to interrupt my movie. I can go before leaving the house and right when I get there and still, movie interrupted. Of course, this doesn't happen at home when "pause" is an option. Nope. Only at the movie theater. And always about 3/4 of the way through. So the exciting part.
Recently I went to see "Jumanji" with my mom. Of course, at the final climactic scene (about 30 minutes to the end), that familiar sensation hit. I refused to give in. I literally sat at the edge of my seat and danced in it up until the end. The credits hit, and I shot up. People were standing and chatting to my left. Okay, that's the fastest way to the door but the right is an option as well. I look to my right. Same. Frustration and fear of impending disaster started to bubble up. I resolved not to give in--a solution would be found! I (politely) pushed my way through the people on my right--including my mother--and practically ran down the steps.
From there I still had a turn to the left and a bit of a walk to get to the door. I made that turn and saw, again, a crowd of people causally talking and SLOWLY walking to the door. Whatever. I'm a small person and am actually quite adept at weaving in a crowd of people. I can find all the small spaces to squeeze through. Seriously. Ask my roommate. She and her boyfriend were impressed at a concert we went to together. ANYWAY, I get down there, start plotting out my path, and a lady pulled out her walker. Her walker!!! In my way!!! I can't run the risk of mowing down an older woman with a walker! So I continued my potty dance until I could find a way around this mindfield. And find it I did. Until...
I turn into the bathroom and see a line. Of children. I don't think there was an adult in that line. At this point I really was courting disaster. I REALLY wanted to run those kids over to get to the front of the line. I was so close to doing it. Then I thought of how that would look on the news. "Teacher of Children Maims Them Rushing to the Front of the Line." Not good. I am pretty sure my posture looked like a balloon that just popped. All the air rushed out of me and I just sagged with the weight of my fate. Then I turned around...
And angels started singing. All the lights in the hallway dimmed except one: the one that says "Restrooms" at the other end of the small theater. The air was back in my balloon. I practically skipped my way over to the line-less bathroom. And I am happy to report, this story had a happy ending!
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