June Gloom

In my past life, I lived in Monterey, California for a couple of years.  There is a phenomenon in California knows as the "June Gloom."  Because it rhymes.  Sort of.  Get it???  Due to whatever weather and landform conditions exist there, June and July are the gloomiest months of the year.  Overcast and just sort of icky.  Which always makes locals laugh just a little at tourists' expense because that is high tourist season.  But the worst weather of the year.  It's a cruel trick, really.

As it turns out, every year I have my "June Gloom" experience.  It is, after all, the month of marriages.  Including mine.  It is also about the time of year HeWho asked (rather, demanded) for a divorce.  And in a world of Facebook where we constantly show off only the best parts of our lives, it is a month of anniversary posts.  It is a triggery minefield, and I have a love/hate relationship with them.  I truly do love seeing the happiest moments of my friends' lives.  The pictures are beautiful and full of light, life, and love.  The best parts of the human existence.  Of course, it is the part that no longer exists for me.  I've mostly come to terms with it, but that doesn't make me immune to setbacks.  Every June my own fog comes rolling in, and I tend to wallow in it for a bit.  Until I realize that I am WAY too busy to even maintain a causal online conversation with a man, much less a relationship.  (Grad school is no joke, y'all!)  And I'm okay with that.  Most of the time.

*I just reread the description of this blog.  I claim I'm not letting my divorce define me anymore.  And yet my last few posts are a bit contrary to that bold declaration.  Have no fear...I may have a bit of the June Gloom at the moment, but there are plenty of good things happening as well.  I'll be sure to share some of those things next time!