It's Okay to Cry...Really

One thing I've thought a lot about over the last 4 years is the importance of being allowed to feel things.  I truly believe that societally we have stunted personal growth by making it unacceptable to express true emotions in public.  We women have it better than men, at least, but even we are expected to reign it in and put on a happy face for the world.  I often think about this at church, because it is where I do most of my public crying.  I hate it.  But I shouldn't hate it.  It's the real me.  On Sundays I think the Spirit is closer, and the Spirit is a thing of emotion.  It makes sense that we would be more vulnerable on that day.  Add to that the fact that mine is a church of couples and families, and it can be tough.  Really tough.  Then the tears start, the embarrassment follows, and I wonder why I ever even left my house.  I end up spending the rest of my time reassuring people that I am actually okay when I'm not really.  Not completely.  But everyone wants to think I'm doing okay, so I give them what they want.

The problem is, how is this helping me?  How is this helping the people in my life know what is truly going on in my life so I can get the help I need?  How is this helping others know that they aren't the only ones going through tough times?  One thing that gives me joy when I might not otherwise feel it is helping others.  If I can help those who might need to cry on the shoulder of someone who truly gets it, I feel like my pain has a greater purpose.  We need to learn to be more comfortable with the wide variety of emotions that life causes.  We need to let people be vulnerable.  We need to truly mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort.  We need to let people feel safe enough to cry.